Expert Insights
Finding My Way Back: Part 1
Finding My Way Back: Healing, Boundaries, and Speaking My Truth After 20 Years in the ER
This two-part series is my own personal journey and transformation from numbing the chaos to reclaiming my voice and reigniting my soul...
For 20+ years, the ER has been my second home.
The adrenaline, the chaos, the endless line of patients needing more than I sometimes had to give. I wore the badge of "ER Nurse" with pride — but somewhere along the way, I lost myself under the weight of it.
I didn't notice it happening at first. Numbing became second nature. One more trauma, one more code, one more impossible shift. I told myself it was normal to be tired all the time, to feel hollow, to put everyone else’s needs first.
It wasn’t.
I hit a wall. Hard.
It wasn’t just exhaustion — it was a slow erasure of my own voice, my own needs, my own soul.
But here's what no one tells you: you don’t have to stay stuck there.
You can reclaim yourself.
You can set the damn boundaries.
You can heal — deeply, not just "get through."
Setting Boundaries Without Apology
One of the first things I had to learn was that setting boundaries isn’t selfish — it’s survival.
I started small: saying “no” without overexplaining. Taking my breaks without guilt. Protecting my time off like my life depended on it (because it does).
I used to think being a "good nurse" meant saying yes to everything.
Now, I know that being a great nurse — and a healthy human — means knowing when to say no.
Coming Home to Myself: Healing from the Inside Out
Real healing isn’t something someone hands you. It’s work.
Hard, uncomfortable, beautiful work.
My "AHA" moment hit me when I least expected it.
For years, I had been talking to the same "Angel Guide" from a retreat company — always planning but never committing to my three-day “transformational journey.”
There was always an excuse.
Until December 2020.
In the midst of COVID, with the world collapsing around me, I said "SCREW IT."
I didn’t care if I went into debt because I was hitting rock bottom in every aspect. I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring — I didn’t even know if I would be living or dying.
So I chose me. I chose my healing.
And in March 2021, I finally made it to Sedona.
The Moment That Set Me Free
During one of my sessions, my practitioner (who I now know as my shaman) and I were hiking the breathtaking Sedona Red Rocks.
As we walked, we talked about the date — and he mentioned it was the first day of Passover.
“It’s the story of the Jews fleeing from Pharaoh and finding freedom,” he continued. “It’s about breaking free from bondage — physically, emotionally, spiritually.”
Passover is a time of reflection on themes of oppression, resilience, and the pursuit of freedom. It’s the story of breaking chains and choosing a new path.
And that’s when it hit me.
Those words struck me like lightning. It wasn’t just a holiday. It was exactly what I needed to hear: a reminder that freedom is possible — even from the chains you can’t see.
I froze and then I looked straight at him and shouted,
“OH MY GOODNESS, I AM FREE!”
FREE from my anxiety,
FREE from rejection,
FREE to NO longer disrespect myself,
FREE from my negative thoughts holding me in slavery,
For the first time in years, I heard my own heart louder than the noise of the world around me.
I had been saving everyone else for decades.
Now it was time to save myself.
The Tools That Helped Me Heal
- Meditation taught me how to sit with my own discomfort instead of drowning it out.
- Breath work showed me I could reset my nervous system with something as simple (and radical) as conscious breathing.
- Journaling gave me a safe place to unload the weight I'd been carrying around for years — the grief, the anger, the exhaustion, the hope.
Healing didn’t happen overnight. Some days, it still feels messy.
But every day, I move closer to myself.
Speaking My Truth — Loudly, Clearly, Without Shame
The old me swallowed her truth.
The new me speaks it — calmly, firmly, confidently.
Whether it’s in a staff meeting, with leadership, or in my own relationships, I’ve stopped shrinking to make others comfortable.
I don’t raise my voice, but I don’t lower it either.
I own my experience. I own my wisdom. I own my worth.
Ready for Part 2?
If my journey of reclaiming myself and setting boundaries resonated with you, there’s more.
In Part 2, I share the cost of being called a hero during the pandemic — and how I learned to truly heal.
All My Best, Karen Silverman | BSN, RN Empowerment & Transformational Coach Founder/Entrepreneur of K-SILVA COACHING LLC and The Rebel Nurse Coaching Program833-779-1131karen@k-silvacoaching.comhttps://k-silvacoaching.cohere.live/about
